Coaching in Analogies #6: Physical therapy and feedback
I’m lying on my side on a vinyl-covered table, under fluorescent lights. I’m huffing and puffing a bit under the strain of my assigned task: rotate my right arm backwards, with a two-pound dumbbell in my hand. By the middle of the third set, it might as well have been 100 pounds. I just can’t move it anymore.
I’d really rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.
The physical therapist is kind and encouraging. He notes the progress I’ve made in the last week or two, sends me away with a new take-home exercise and wishes me well.
And it’s my experience in trying to recover from a frozen shoulder since January — with PT, massage, acupuncture and all manner of topical creams — that has me thinking about the power of positive feedback.
I’ve written before about how a few small words can make a big impact. Today, I’m thinking about a client who told me recently that he struggles with praise. It is an expected component of leadership at his company, but he gets frustrated by mistakes and doesn’t want to hand out participation trophies. I realized two things through my PT experience:
Progress requires recognition.
Progress looks different for everyone.
I switched therapists recently because the original one was assigned to a new location. She was the first physical therapist I’d ever visited. Among the things I learned as we talked during our sessions is that she does Olympic weightlifting for fun when she’s not seeing patients. In other words, the person charged with helping me be able to lift both arms above my head again… could easily lift me over her head.
I was definitely a bit self-conscious about struggling to do a single push-up or move a light resistance band. But then I realized it’s not her job to compare me to herself or anyone else. It’s her job to compare me to me.
And so it goes in leadership as well. When we are charged with helping people on our teams grow, we meet them where they are and work from there. It’s less important where we were ourselves when we were in a similar role in our careers. When they progress, we rejoice.
The words of encouragement from my therapist matter for a different reason, as do his numerical observations of how my range of motion is improving. It’s hard for me to see and feel the progress because I’ve been living with this situation every day. He takes snapshots over time. So, though it can feel like Bruce Wayne trying to climb out of the hole, hearing that I’m actually getting somewhere is very reassuring. It keeps me motivated to do the home exercises and to see myself beating this someday.
Coaching prompts:
What progress are you noticing among members of your team?
What habits can you develop toward acknowledging and praising that progress regularly?