Coaching in analogies #1: a toothpaste decision

Author’s note: This is the first post in what I hope will be a recurring series. I use analogies a lot in coaching. They’re useful for reframing a familiar situation in different terms or for helping clients get unstuck. Of course, clients come up with their own analogies too…

I had a client who was vacillating on a new piece of furniture for her home office. So many options. So many colors. And it was her first time working from home, so she wanted to make sure she got it right. And the desire to get it right is what kept her from making the decision at all. Many weeks of seeking to avoid buying the wrong desk had kept her from having any desk.

I asked her if she’d ever felt overwhelmed while looking at the toothpaste section in the grocery store. Of course, she had. Flavors, fluoride, gel, whitening… many of these options compete with each other but are owned by the same company. In an ideal world, buying toothpaste wouldn’t be so freaking complicated. And yet, it doesn’t really matter.

If you make the wrong choice, you’re out 3-6 bucks and you get to try again.

Compare this to buying a house. You’re looking at floor plans, neighborhoods, walkability, schools, commute times, taxes, literally dozens upon dozens of factors. It’s also the most important financial decision many families will ever make. 

If you make the wrong choice, you’ve got hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line. Not to mention every quality-of-life factor you can imagine.

We are confronted with an unprecedented amount of information on every decision, regardless of the scale or potential consequences. Maybe this means we are making more thoughtful decisions. Or maybe, as in the case of my client, it’s all a recipe for analysis paralysis.

The solution is to break the overthinking cycle with a reframing. When my client realized she needed to get off the fence on the desk purchase, she went with the best option based on her view at the time. She decided to let go of the notion that an even better desk might come along in a few weeks and make her second-guess her decision.

As of this writing, she’s been enjoying that desk for more than a year now.

So, next time you find yourself stuck on a decision, ask yourself about the scale and the consequences first. Are you making a toothpaste decision or a house decision?