The all-you-can-eat buffet

My client was frustrated because his efforts weren’t leading to a promotion. Meanwhile, his day was so broken into fragments that he couldn’t focus on leading the longer-term initiatives or thinking the bigger thoughts.

I had a hunch.

“What percentage of meeting requests would you say you accept?” I asked.

“As close to a hundred as possible,” he replied.

As I encouraged my client to think about whether this setup was working for him, I thought back to a time in my own career as a leader.

I once sat on an executive team with a colleague who was never available. I don’t mean you couldn’t meet with him. I mean his schedule, in Outlook, was always a monolith of unavailability. To get on his calendar, you needed to make a specific request directly to him – or to his assistant.

At the time, I found this profoundly irritating. It struck me as a power play, a statement that his time was always more valuable than everyone else’s. Of course, I later realized that he was exactly right. The wisdom didn’t hit me until I became a coach and needed to tightly manage the time I have available for clients.

That’s when I found myself wondering when and how it became the norm for every unused block of time in the work week to be available to everyone else.

Why on earth are we letting others treat our schedules like an all-you-can-eat buffet, where every open block of time has a spoon or a pair of tongs sticking out? That everyone can just reach in and grab whatever they think they need?

We tend to be pretty careless with abundance. I think it’s human nature that comes from our distant ancestors not knowing exactly when or where the next meal would come. Why not try something that looks unfamiliar or pile on a few more soggy french fries? It doesn’t cost you anything more.

Back to my former colleague for a moment. His schedule wasn’t a buffet – far from it. In fact, you couldn’t even get into the restaurant without advance permission. Every morsel of food on every plate was precious, and you had to make careful choices as a result. You’d savor the experience.

And we always did. Much as I chafed at the scheduling inconvenience more than once – I have an impatient streak about these things – I do remember always finding him kind, thoughtful and fully present during those few meetings I managed to land.

Coaching questions:

• Are others treating your time, energy and attention as the limited and valuable resources they are?

• What benefits might you realize from being less available?