The power of quiet: Introverts in leadership

Hi, my name is Alan, and I’m an introvert.

“But you… are great at conversation! You enjoy the company of other people! And I’ve seen you give really engaging talks at conferences!”

Thank you. And yes.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re socially awkward, don’t like people or are afraid of speaking in large groups. It simply means you draw your energy from within instead of from others. High-intensity events with lots of other people leave an extrovert pumped up and ready to hit the after-party for several hours. An introvert comes out of the same experience needing to recharge their batteries. 

I should note that the distinction between introversion and social anxiety can be a little ambiguous at times. You might wow a crowd with a powerful speech and head straight home from the stage to avoid the networking mixer afterwards. Or you might find yourself second-guessing your decision to show up at all. For more on social anxiety, leadership and success, I highly recommend this Anxious Achiever podcast.

The coronavirus pandemic has brought about interesting times for introverts. The playing field is more level in Zoom meetings where everyone is physically the same size, where it’s easier to raise a hand and be recognized, where the loudest voices can be muted. It’s easier to find your footing as an introvert at a virtual networking event with breakout rooms than in awkwardly juggling business cards and canapes at an event in meatspace. 

I’ve self-identified as an introvert since I knew what the word meant -- and wished I’d discovered it sooner. As Susan Cain and others have documented, introversion can move way beyond a stumbling block and actually turn into a superpower! It certainly has for me, as I’ve moved from journalist to nonprofit and government communicator, to startup entrepreneur, to leadership coach. Today, I’m fortunate to coach other introverts through discovering or reconnecting with their own inner strengths.

Here are five things I’ve discovered along the way.

1. It’s good to stretch your comfort zone.

I graduated from college at 21 and began my career as an on-air television reporter and anchor. The somewhat shy and definitely introverted kid took a job that literally consisted of talking to strangers for a living, and performing the results of that talking for tens of thousands of people every night. I definitely had a need to be seen and heard. But I also learned how to warm up a conversation, how to ask powerful questions and how to get people to return my phone calls.

2. Introverts can bring out the best in one another.

I’ve worked for introverted leaders and served as one myself in numerous organizations. We’re not always eager to have the first or last word in meetings or to dominate most of the words in between. And we’re the ones who make sure the whole group gets heard. It is many a quiet, thoughtful colleague who has a meaningful contribution to make in a discussion. But if they’re afraid of getting run over, mansplained or having someone else take credit for their ideas, they might not speak up. Introverted leaders create the space for them to do so.

3. Leadership culture comes in many flavors.

Related to the running over and mansplaining, I’ve worked in organizational cultures where the way to get ahead is to loudly take credit for one’s work (and that of one’s team) over and over and over again. This can be a big drain on resources -- I have poured weeks of my life into internal slide presentations -- and be a distraction from one’s actual work. It can also be a way to sideline the introverts. This leaves us with only three ways to succeed. Our leaders can encourage us to step forward or find other ways to give us recognition; we can learn to play the chest-thumping game in a way that still feels authentic; or we can find somewhere else to work. I’ve done all three. 

4. Introverts have something to say, and usually know how to say it.

Some of the most thoughtful written communicators I’ve encountered in two-plus decades in the field are introverts. They’re the journalists who ask the right questions and tell the stories of others, without dominating the conversation. They’re the PR and outreach folks who bridge the gaps between their organizations and the audiences they need to reach, without making the conversation about themselves. And they’re the authors whose messages -- whether captivating stories, reflective memoirs or useful instructions, inspire their readership with their words.

5. Introversion can be situational.

As I’ve said, introverts aren’t antisocial or afraid to get in front of an audience -- they simply draw their energy from within instead of from others. (This is why a two-hour work holiday party can make us feel like sitting in a dark room or going home to read a book afterwards.) But I’ve discovered that my one-on-one leadership coaching practice does give me energy. It’s intensive, personal and often quite serious. And especially when I’m guiding a fellow introvert in stepping into their own power, I come out of the experience wanting to do more of it every time.

If you’re interested in learning more about yourself as an introvert, or embracing this gift in the most authentic way possible, we should talk. Here’s how to get on my schedule.